These are the top 20+ questions the customers will ask.. How would you respond?

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May 26, 2012
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REal NAme
#1
Here are the top 20 questions we usually get asked. Please post any other questions that you have encountered..

How would your company answer the questions below.. this is something that will seal the deal or have them call another company. Answer as if you were talking to them directly..


1 How much do you charge?

2 How long does it take to dry?

3 Can you get out all the stains?

4 How long does it take to dry?

5 Can I use/walk on the carpets when you're done and while pretreated?

6 What kind of furniture do you move?

7 Do I need to be here during the cleaning?

8 How can I pay?

9 Do you match competitors prices or coupons?

10 Wow, your prices seems high?

11 Do you use a truckmounted unit?

12 Do you offer a guarantee?

13 Do you steam clean?

14 Will the carpets be crunchy after the cleaning?

15 Does protector really work?

16 I heard that once you clean your carpets they get dirtier quicker?

17 Should I turn the heat on when you are done?

18 How often should I clean my carpets?

19 Can you remove wax?

20 I have never had my carpets cleaned, what should I do?
 

Kipp

Smart Ass Of The Year!
Premium VIP
Apr 13, 2011
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Kipp
#2
Here are the top 20 questions we usually get asked. Please post any other questions that you have encountered..

How would your company answer the questions below.. this is something that will seal the deal or have them call another company. Answer as if you were talking to them directly..

1 How much do you charge? How much you got?

2 How long does it take to dry? About 3 times longer than I tell you...

3 Can you get out all the stains? Probably not...

4 How long does it take to dry? I already told you dumbass

5 Can I use/walk on the carpets when you're done and while pretreated? Sure, it's your carpet do want you want...but I ain't coming back

6 What kind of furniture do you move? invisible furniture

7 Do I need to be here during the cleaning? Preferably not makes it much harder to steal stuff

8 How can I pay? Cash upfront...don't jack me!

9 Do you match competitors prices or coupons? Absolutely, as long as they are higher than mine

10 Wow, your prices seems high? Not as high as I am right now...

11 Do you use a truckmounted unit? No it's in a van dumbass

12 Do you offer a guarantee? Sure, I guarantee you'll pay the bill when I'm done

13 Do you steam clean? uh yeah, I'm not a sock swirler...freakin hacks

14 Will the carpets be crunchy after the cleaning? I don't know I've never bitten into carpet..

15 Does protector really work? Yes our aqua-protector is the best money can buy

16 I heard that once you clean your carpets they get dirtier quicker? I heard you're a slob so that's probably why...

17 Should I turn the heat on when you are done? It's your utility bill do what you want..

18 How often should I clean my carpets? Once a week would be good

19 Can you remove wax? I guess, why the F do you have wax on your carpet...you satanic or something?

20 I have never had my carpets cleaned, what should I do? Shoot yourself
 
Last edited:

aloha one

Scrub a DUB DUB!
Feb 17, 2009
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Dave Moonan
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United States
#5
1 How much do you charge? How much you got?

2 How long does it take to dry? About 3 times longer than I tell you...

3 Can you get out all the stains? Probably not...

4 How long does it take to dry? I already told you dumbass

5 Can I use/walk on the carpets when you're done and while pretreated? Sure, it's your carpet do want you want...but I ain't coming back

6 What kind of furniture do you move? invisible furniture

7 Do I need to be here during the cleaning? Preferably not makes it much harder to steal stuff

8 How can I pay? Cash upfront...don't jack me!

9 Do you match competitors prices or coupons? Absolutely, as long as they are higher than mine

10 Wow, your prices seems high? Not as high as I am right now...

11 Do you use a truckmounted unit? No it's in a van dumbass

12 Do you offer a guarantee? Sure, I guarantee you'll pay the bill when I'm done

13 Do you steam clean? uh yeah, I'm not a sock swirler...freakin hacks

14 Will the carpets be crunchy after the cleaning? I don't know I've never bitten into carpet..

15 Does protector really work? Yes our aqua-protector is the best money can buy

16 I heard that once you clean your carpets they get dirtier quicker? I heard you're a slob so that's probably why...

17 Should I turn the heat on when you are done? It's your utility bill do what you want..

18 How often should I clean my carpets? Once a week would be good

19 Can you remove wax? I guess, why the F do you have was on our carpet...you satanic or something?

20 I have never had my carpets cleaned, what should I do? Shoot yourself
Damnit Kipp...You Beat me to it!
 
May 26, 2012
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REal NAme
#10
I think Kipp summed 'em up very nicely! :)

Steve

PS Brent, you missed my very favoritest customer question, "WHEN can you come clean them?"
I left out some questions that require specific answers that only apply to that company.. like what kind of prespray they are using and so on..
 

aloha one

Scrub a DUB DUB!
Feb 17, 2009
30,329
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California
Real Name
Dave Moonan
Business Location
United States
#11
Here are the top 20 questions we usually get asked. Please post any other questions that you have encountered..

How would your company answer the questions below.. this is something that will seal the deal or have them call another company. Answer as if you were talking to them directly..

1 How much do you charge? What's you credit Limit?

2 How long does it take to dry? To Dry? Who said it would dry!

3 Can you get out all the stains? We dont do stains

4 How long does it take to dry? Please dont ask me this again

5 Can I use/walk on the carpets when you're done and while pretreated? Can I use/walk on you when I'm done?

6 What kind of furniture do you move? No kind!

7 Do I need to be here during the cleaning? No..leave NOW!

8 How can I pay? With your Body!

9 Do you match competitors prices or coupons? This aint a friggin Supermarket lady

10 Wow, your prices seems high? So am I..now Shut it!

11 Do you use a truckmounted unit? No..my UNIT rests indside my Zipper.

12 Do you offer a guarantee? Keep asking these stupid questions or I'll guarantee you a bit Slap!

13 Do you steam clean? Do YOU Swallow?

14 Will the carpets be crunchy after the cleaning? Only if you remove yer false teeth

15 Does protector really work? You tell me HOE..Pregnant?

16 I heard that once you clean your carpets they get dirtier quicker? Well...DUH!

17 Should I turn the heat on when you are done? Please dont Maam...I'm enjoying yer Headlites

18 How often should I clean my carpets? When they're Dirty Dummy!
19 Can you remove wax? No but we Give Waxes..

20 I have never had my carpets cleaned, what should I do? Keep living like a PIG.
 
Last edited:

Omar

Premium VIP
May 24, 2014
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omar rodriguez
#16
Im a mute so i answer all my questions in person with sign language. Once i get to this question.

10. Wow your prices are high?

I go.


And then she goes.


Then i go.


And she goes.

 

crash1big

Well-Known Member
Mar 18, 2011
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Illinois
Real Name
Marlan Brown
Business Location
United States
#19
20 I have never had my carpets cleaned, what should I do? Buy new. Preferably Smartstrand . That way no one else can clean it except me :)