"A carpet cleaner and a Rabbi walk into a bar..."You can try to give it a funny tone to stand out from the competition... The point is everyone is using same kinda boring Headlines. I like to use funny one just to be little more creative. and i ve got good response from the customers. But again its personal preference.. Just mt two cents..Check my site here http://www.wellingtoncarpetcleaner.co.nz/
You might need to take a moment and map out your prospect a bit more. What's their biggest concern? Is it dry times? Recurring stains? Money savings? Overall appearance? You list it out on the backside a bit, but try to address the main one in the headline.