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Critique my Maid Mailer

PhilipW

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Expanding my business this fall for a much-requested service. No competition in the area so hopefully it will go well! I intend to use this design as both a mailer to existing customers and a flyer to share during door-to-door sales. Constructive criticism please!
page01.jpg
 
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PhilipW

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no prices --- no calls
I agree - so here's the age old question I guess - do you put a low, starting price to get their attention, even though most will never actually be that low? Or do you post a normal price (like say, based on a 3 br, 2bath residence?)

OPinions?
 

Pinosan

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I agree - so here's the age old question I guess - do you put a low, starting price to get their attention, even though most will never actually be that low? Or do you post a normal price (like say, based on a 3 br, 2bath residence?)

OPinions?
do you have experience cleaning houses?
 

PhilipW

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you know your market then

good luck.
I'm going to assume you think the price is too low - I think that it is too in almost every case. Goes back to my question though, should I throw out a rock bottom price that only applies in very specific situations, just to get people hooked, or do you go with a reasonable cost and hope people bite?

For the ideal client, I can go 11 bucks a room, as long as I'm cleaning every week, no kids, no pets. But there's not too many of those ideal clients out there.
 

ACP

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The font I personally think is too hard to read and I would lay out the main points in bullet points.

- Green home and business cleaning

- World class carpet and tile cleaning

-etc

-etc

The background with the longer paragraph kinda blends, I would try and find something with a really good contrast so its easier on the eyes

just my 2 cents
 
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Ken Raddon

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The whole thing needs work. It's too hard to read. It's way to long of a paragraph. Here's one approach that may help you. I say that because it really turned my flyer around... Use lists and headlines for those lists. For example Three Reasons You'll Love Our Service: All our maids are insured, bonded fully trained by Me. Etc.

And please remove that silly line about not letting strangers into their home because all that does is remind them they don't know you either and they shouldn't let you in their house.
 

PhilipW

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Thank you everyone for the input. Here's round 3 - now with bullets vs paragraph, and less words!
page01.jpg
 

Ken Raddon

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Now lets work on your headline. What does "We've got you covered" even mean.
At first glance it looks like a headline for an insurance sales post card. Nothing else about the ad says insurance but that headline does.

Try something like...

People Love Our Carpet Cleaning

Who has the time to clean?

There's never time to clean?

We will clean it for you

You will love how clean it is

7 reasons to choose us <that's my favorite.
 
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PhilipW

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Philip wallman
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Now lets work on your headline. What does "We've got you covered" even mean.
At first glance it looks like a headline for an insurance sales post card. Nothing else about the ad says insurance but that headline does.

Try something like...

People Love Our Carpet Cleaning

Who has the time to clean?

There's never time to clean?

We will clean it for you

You will love how clean it is

7 reasons to choose us <that's my favorite.
Thanks for all the help Ken. I think I'm going with "Who has time to clean?" and I can run a trial using the facebook page and measure response before I go to print
 

davidalford

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David Alford
Expanding my business this fall for a much-requested service. No competition in the area so hopefully it will go well! I intend to use this design as both a mailer to existing customers and a flyer to share during door-to-door sales. Constructive criticism please!View attachment 73085


Social Transportation & Cleaning Service
 

PistolPete

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I always begin a marketing piece with the customers perspective. What is their point of pain and how do you specifically address that.
For example, do your customers currently use a cleaning service? What do they like least, what drives them nuts, what do they like?
Too busy to clean?
Are you frustrated with your homes cleanliness?
Is your current service missing important details?
Are they on time?
Etc.
Then write your ad to address the pain.
 
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