Thread: My 1st TV Commercial

Here is my new TV commercial. Rate it on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the worse to 10 being the highest. Feel free to critique it. It airs Feb 1st and we can edit anything along the way. This is my 1st commercial and I made it myself with the help of Jared who is very talented imho. So what do you think??

Rob




NEWLY REVISED EDITION:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BogejmwjiG8

I like it Rob. Would have been nice to have a 60 second spot, but with the price of TV airtime you did as well as you could.

Only thing you might add to it is cover what they get for the $99.00

Benefit to the customer is established that way right up front.

I think its better not to disclose what the 99 dollar special is, that way it gets the phone ringing as people are interested, if your on the higher end of the market its better not to advertise your prices.

why the shoe covers outside at the 13 second mark but not inside at the 15 sec mark?

You feature a high end home and advertise your commitment to excellence...I think the $99 dollar thing cheapens your ad.

other than that it is to the point and shows your true enthusiasm. A solid 9 from me

I agree with Jim. High end marketing does not need the price in it. Only direct response adds need it. If you are trying to improve the image of your company in your community, pull the price offer.

I like the music but it made it kind of hard to hear the guy talking until the end where he talks about $99 special. Unless thats what your going for. Also, I think jingles are imperative with any kind of advertising that is not in print. I remember almost all the jingles I hear. And lastly I would have set up an 800 number and used that to track your results. I am not comparing this to just CC commercials, I am comparing it to all the clutter I hear through out the day. Over all the quality looks great and shows a definite level of professionalism.

Originally Posted by Matt Strader

I like the music but it made it kind of hard to hear the guy talking until the end where he talks about $99 special. Unless thats what your going for. Also, I think jingles are imperative with any kind of advertising that is not in print. I remember almost all the jingles I hear. And lastly I would have set up an 800 number and used that to track your results. I am not comparing this to just CC commercials, I am comparing it to all the clutter I hear through out the day. Over all the quality looks great and shows a definite level of professionalism.

I am going to voice the same feedback as Matthew. I think some jingle or rememberable phrase would get you the most bang for your buck. Sure, you will get a response with people who need a carpet clean within the near future, but, you also want to catch the attention of people who need future cleans. That day they are staring at thier carpet and say to themselves "wow these carpets need a clean, what was the name of that carpet cleaner?*<insert jingle here>* Oh Yea!" Other then that, the overall quality seems good.

I really appreciate the neg and pos feedback, so please keep it coming.

OK I gave myself a 9+ because of my ugly mug.

Here is what I rated everything else;

Jared did a fantastic job with the shot angles.-10
It is hi def and very crisp-10
The music is catchy-9
It covers clearly and professionally what I wanted to convey-9

Here is what I was trying to accomplish;

Relay carpet/uph and tile cleaning
Winter so I offered a low special to recoup investment (but 99 is for 2 rooms so not terribly low and I know once Sandee gets them on the line they will set)
Reach old clients who will remember me (I owned another cc company many years back that had 1000's of clients who don't know where I am)

Things I wrestled with;

Lisa and others feel every ad should have some "call to action". (I don't.)
What the offer would be.
This is my first attempt at a commercial and we did it ourselves to try and convey better our professionalism level.


So overall it is a new and exciting exp and I guess we will see how it pulls. Because that is what really counts, but since i have some room for flexibility I thought I would ask everyones opinion!

Thanks
Rob

I think you did a GREAT job Rob!
Would have liked to see a wand pass over the living carpet, with a semi-dramatic clean path.

I gave an 8

Best of success with it mate!

AL

Get rid of the $99.00 special, trust me you do not want a price point USP, but GREAT JOB!!

Best Carpet Cleaning Commercial i have seen.

in the begging you voice sounds a little low

Nice job and I would suggest a couple of things. Don't take offense to this but wear a cap because it looks more professional and be holding a clip board as you go to the door. This also looks professional. If this commercial is to get work for the winter the 99 special is fine just say ask about our 99 specials limited availability. This brings a call to action for the customer. I would also agree you voice needs to be louder and also I think its Tre but his voice also needs to be a litter higher. I like the music and all the shots of you guys working. Keep up the good work.

I agree with the jingle being crucial. Awesome upholstery shot. I'm not sure about the rug cleaning shot with the wand on site. Was that guy wearing headphones and listening to music while cleaning the stairs? That's a non no. The good thing is you can always do a new voice over with a different special an no special at all. Overall it looks good.

Originally Posted by amazingcleansc

I really like all the steam at :10. It looks like you offer 5 star quality service! The $99 part made me throw up a little bit in my mouth though.

When zero rez comes to your house with a big box truck, a "special" for them is $150 for 3 rooms because people are sold on their quality.

Is there any other thing you can do at the end to build urgency?

All class and high quality until the offer. I agree that a $150 call to action would bring you much better clients. Anyone who expects to get much done for $99 isn't someone you want to call you again. Or you could lighten the cta by saying "$99 introductory first-time customer offer" or something that doesn't set the price anchor.

Mr Allen, You asked for my honest opinion and thats what you will get. First of all I see this as just the scratch of the surface . I know that you will achieve greater horizons in Dry-N-Clean television commercial marketing. To me In this recording shoot. You look a bit tired and overworked in the intro you also need a haircut. Although your attire is very professional, I wouldn't change a thing as far as apparel . The camera angle at the intro was a bit unstable and your actions gave me the impression you were in a rush. Rob I mean no harm by my critique. You are achieving things that most carpet cleaners dream of. The second half of the commercial was terrific. I know that customers will love the clip of the upholstery being cleaned. WOW! What a great before and after. Rob I wasn't going to reply to this post. Because in all respect I have no room to speak, but you did ask. The most important thing I would suggest that you need a catchy song tune or a phrase burn a memory of you into the customers minds.